Authentic Leadership - Shields Down

Building on my recent blog about leading your strategic mind, let's investigate the next step in developing your capacity to lead from authentic purpose. I'm going to use a Star Trek reference to call this work "shields down" or "de cloaking." The shields in Star Trek were to protect the ship from enemy fire and cloaking was to make the ship invisible. I suggest that as a leader, it’s worthwhile to investigate how these two notions operate in your life. In her book and TED talk, "Lessons From The Mental Hospital," Glennon Doyle Melton demonstrates having done masterful work in recovering her super sensitive, highly aware youthful self after sliding into bulimia, alcoholism and drug addiction to kill the pain of the messy world in which we live. She calls those addictions "superhuman capes," strategies to repel the hurts and become invisible. The key to her recovery was her commitment to be present to her fear and pain and be willing to engage with the "real world."

Her moving presentation becomes personal to the rest of us when she defines the "superhuman cape" as anything that protects our vulnerability. So what's your superhuman cape? A technical or advanced degree? Extreme athletic conditioning? Intellectual capacities? Hard ball attitude? Results-only focus? Workaholism?.I could go on and on but it’s worthwhile effort for you to stand back and see yours. If you don't know how you keep people and the pain of this messy life that makes up real reality at bay, find an honest person who knows you and ask them.

If you've been hiding behind your superhuman cape you may find it nearly impossible to consider setting it aside. Melton speaks to the enormous courage required and borrows a definition from Dr. Brene Brown, "courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart."

Let's juxtapose that definition with another that I refer to constantly from David Whyte, "Courage Is developing a friendship with the unknown." It is going to take a lot of friendship with the unknown for you to de-cloak who you really are with your whole heart because you don't know what will happen. To make matters worse, you have probably recorded painful past experiences or experienced a lot of bad outcomes that justify your hiding inside your supercape.

So what makes it worthwhile? It allows them to share your authentic purpose and choose to freely support you. It strips out the pretense that often goes on and gets in the way of productive interactions. It allows them to risk putting their shields down too. Best of all, it lets you out of your own prison into the light of personal freedom.

Melton declares that the prizes to be won for being vulnerable are peace, dignity & friendship.  Imagine how productively you, your team and your family can interact with those prizes in hand!

Be The Leadership Catalyst

“Leaders have to recognize what everyone is saying and also be the catalyst that will call out not what makes people happy but what needs to be done to move forward." - Dr. Speciosa Wandira-Kazibwe, Former Vice President of Uganda I recently wrote about a leadership lesson that came out of some comments by Dr. Speciosa Wandira-Kazibwe at a leadership meeting during The Hunger Project’s Annual Fall Event Board of Directors meeting. This week I am writing about another lesson from Dr. Wandira. During some “casual remarks,” she made the statement at the top of this post. Far from inconsequential, it seems to me that she zeroed in on an essential distinction of leadership at any level. 

Dr. Wandira first addressed the importance of gathering input from all constituencies and points-of-view rather than just those that agree with you or seem to be in support of an outcome you favor. She next pointed to the fact that you must be willing to act knowing that some or many may be unhappy with your choices. She did not say ignore them and she didn’t say just proceed with your original agenda.

If you focus on each element of her seemingly simple statement, you will be able to lead powerfully. By powerfully, I am referring to one of my favorite quotes from Warren Bennis, “Leadership is the wise use of power. Power is the ability to translate intention into reality and sustain it.”

At the core of her comment is the idea that you must call out what needs to be done to move forward. Implicit in that statement is the importance of “to move forward.” I have too often seen leaders push their own agenda without listening to input from the team, about what resources will be required to deliver the desired outcomes, and what time frame will be involved. When deadlines aren’t met or the project fails, the witch hunt begins.

If you recognize what people are saying, they will felt heard. It is not necessary for you as the leader to agree with everyone all the time. You don’t even have to make the team happy about your decision. It goes with the territory that you have to say no or choose alternatives regularly. The key is a quote from David Oxley, “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.”

If you give great credence to their input regarding the specifics of the work that will be required to achieve your goal, the resources that will be required, and the time that it will take, you will be respected, which is critical. With that analysis as your place to stand and the respect you have shown to the individuals involved, you will be able to mobilize them to move forward. You will be the catalyst.

If you remember your chemistry class, being a catalyst means that you will not be changed or consumed in the process. I prefer to say that you will not be worn out and you may, in fact, be changed and grow your leadership in a very inspiring way.

The Importance of Being a Self-Aware Leader

The longer I work with leaders the more I see how often they damage or destroy great opportunities by failing to deal with their own “inner demons” or limiting beliefs. I witness damage not just to their companies, but to their personal lives. One of my CEO clients is now entering the divorce process after only recently telling me what a great relationship he had. Turns out his wife feels like she can’t trust him in ways that are important to her and he didn’t even see it. In this complex day and age self-awareness is a requirement of leaders and leadership. In order to be really effective at the level now required, you need to have an objective understanding of what you are good at, what you are not good at, how well you do or don’t connect with people, what kind of impact or “wake” you leave behind when you exit a meeting, how you handle conflict and stress, how you manage your personal reactivity and more. This level of self-understanding enables you to successfully make better choices for yourself, your team and your organization. Even Richard Branson is acknowledging the importance of self-awareness for leaders in a recent article for Entrepreneur.

However, I see many leaders still overwhelmingly focused on image-building, on “looking good,” and on constructing a seemingly safe façade. The problem is the only way to keep this up is to ignore, deny and avoid many parts of ourselves. To be fair, this is all often happening in a very unconscious or subconscious way, but that is exactly why self-awareness is critical.

It can also be a difficult challenge for leaders, people who are generally successful by cultural standards, to understand why they should take this on? They are already doing great – so what’s the problem? Revisit the last part of paragraph 1 – this is just one of numerous examples I have seen.

If you are ready to begin to understand yourself at a new level, you will need tools, techniques and support and there are various approaches you can take. You can start with something within the professional realm like a good 360 feedback system. (We use one within our 2130 Partners work that we have found to be very powerful.)

On a deeper and more personal level you can use a system like the enneagram, which I have written about previously, or you can decide to work with a professional such as a therapist or counselor.

2014 is coming up fast. Are you ready to take your leadership skills to a new level? Are you ready to do some self-examination and expand your understanding of yourself? It’s a good time to commit to this as one of your goals for next year and start investigating which path you want to take to make it happen. Becoming a self-aware leader will have powerful, positive results that are impossible to predict, but certain to happen.

Is it True Nothing Can Be Done?

At a breakfast meeting during the recent Hunger Project Fall Event, Dr. Speciosa Wandira-Kazibwe, member of the Board of Directors, made the comment that “if you don’t do anything, you will think that nothing can be done.”

Dr. Wandira-Kazibwe of Uganda is no novice to getting things done through others. She is U.N. Special Envoy to the Secretary General for HIV/AIDS in Africa. She is also Senior Adviser to the President of Uganda on Population and Health and coordinating the development of reforms for Uganda’s health system.  From 1994 to 2003, she served as Vice-President of Uganda, the first woman in Africa to hold such a position.

Now, you can slide by her statement and hardly notice it, or you can be rocked to your core by the profound nature of it. I prefer the rocked to the core end of the spectrum. It is a statement that has acupuncture accuracy about how many people approach the world. Think about it for a moment. How many people do you know that see some area of life as hopeless? How about you? Where are you in complaint, inaction, and experiencing a sense of hopelessness? When you examine yours or another’s sense of hopelessness, how often do you see that no action has been, or is being, taken? 

The military has a process referred to as the “OODA Loop.” The steps are, “observe, orient, decide, and act.” Repeat the process. It does not say observe, orient, decide, and give up. It also does not say that if you observe, orient, decide and act that everything will turn out for you. It says do the loop again and again.

So, as you look at your industry, your business, your team and organization, are you willing to challenge the “nothing can be done” beliefs? Both your own and those within your team? If the answer is “yes” read on.

To get in the swing of this approach, pick a somewhat bold accomplishment, and set aside yours or your team’s sense of “nothing can be done.” Start with the end in mind, and brainstorm some action steps that are “close in,” (as poet David Whyte would say), meaning that they can be accomplished right away and start moving things in the right direction. Begin with the first step in the direction you want to go. Proceed one step at a time. Stay with it. Turn Dr. Wandira-Kazibwe’s observation into “if you do something, you begin to see that something can be done!”

The Fallacy of Empowerment

At a recent Vistage International All City meeting in Orange County, David Marquet, retired fast attack submarine captain and recent author of the acclaimed leadership book, "Turn The Ship Around," asked a very powerful and provocative question - "If you are telling people that you are going to have an empowerment program, what are you telling them about their condition up until now?" While the insult to the people involved is obvious, disempowerment is also a rather normal experience in adult life. From a leadership perspective this insight calls for a fundamental shift in your mindset. If you think that your people require empowerment that creates a particular set of conversations and resulting actions that are essentially coming from an outside-in and generally top down approach.

If your mindset is that people, or at least the ones you surround yourself with, are naturally passionate, want to make a difference, want to do a good job, and care deeply, you will most likely design a very different approach that is more inside-out and can be seen as grass roots or bottom-up. (A few organizations have even drawn their organization charts upside down in an attempt to display this thinking.) Leadership in this paradigm is often characterized as ‘servant leadership.’

On Capt. Marquet’s sub, he did not issue orders. He expected his subordinates to get clear about what was to be done and communicate with him in the form of “sir, I intend to…” This kept him aware of what was going on and allowed him to add information that he might have to the subordinate’s decision-making process. In making this fundamental change in the way the crew and officers communicated, the team was able to move from the worst performing sub in the fleet to the best in one year. (Read his book to learn the full story and to get valuable lessons on how to implement his approach successfully in your organization.)

In a very different environment, The Hunger Project, a global non-profit, has successfully developed a cadre of 300,000 powerful volunteers and 20 million engaged villagers who are working to end hunger in the world. THP stands with the hungry by taking the approach that people are the solution, not the problem, just as Capt. Marquet did with his crew. THP does not teach people to fish, it unleashes the power of each individual inside a shared commitment to ending their own hunger. When they mobilize, these villagers then determine their own path to ending hunger and take on learning what they will need to know to get the job done.

Where do you stand? Are you willing to work with your associates to create a shared ‘Yonder Star’ and then support them in fulfilling that vision? Are you prepared to live with your own issues around what may seem like giving up control? What results might be possible if you take this new approach?

Leadership: The Issue of Acceptance

One of the essential steps to increased leadership effectiveness and more productive interactions is “acceptance” (both of ourselves and others). While it’s easy to say, our work with clients and Vistage members over the years has shown us that acceptance is “a sticky wicket” for a large percentage of leaders. I had the good fortune of spending a weekend in a two-day enneagram workshop this year sponsored by Enneagram in Seattle and led by Dr. David Daniels and Curt Micka, J.D. The issue of “acceptance” really came into focus for me at this event.

Dr. Daniels presented what he has developed and calls “The Universal Growth Process for Self-Mastery”. For me this process was a way of addressing, “How do I successfully have a difficult conversation when I’d rather have a root canal?”

Dr. Daniels’ formula is a very practical 5 steps that he calls, “The 5 As”:

1. Awareness – Meaning self-awareness, an ability to objectively observe yourself.

2. Acceptance – This is the ability to be open and receptive in the present moment. It does not mean that you are agreeing, condoning or capitulating to what is happening.

3. Appreciation – Being able to experience and acknowledge what you give and what you are grateful for.

4. Action – This has a couple of “sub-steps” to it. The first is to pause and collect yourself. The second is to be curious and in a state of inquiry. The last is to move forward with ‘conscious conduct’ instead of reactivity.

5. Adherence – This means to commit to this process and practice it over and over – lather, rinse, repeat.

What really caught my attention was his emphasis on the point that acceptance does NOT mean condoning, capitulating, or agreeing. This is where I see so many folks get hung up. They won’t even have a conversation out of a fear that listening would mean agreeing. This strategy dooms any conversation that does happen to being merely dueling monologues with both parties hopelessly attempting to convince and convert the other.

I have worked with clients for years on this point, especially with regard to their relationship with employees they view as problems. My admonition is always to share up front that you may not agree, and you will listen generously with the intention of fully grasping the other person’s perspective. What I would add to this now is to practice acceptance – meaning, work on being open and receptive in the present moment.

Keeping in mind that you are not condoning, capitulating, or agreeing, but being open to/accepting what is happening here and now will keep you centered and able to listen powerfully. It will also create new possible outcomes to the conversation and provide solutions to issues that are impossible in dueling monologues. Remember “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” ~David Oxberg

Leadership in Two Worlds: For-Profit and Non-Profit

When members of our society organize to accomplish goals, they typically choose between two major domains – the “For-Profit” and the “Not-for-Profit” worlds. We tend to believe each of these worlds is very different and “ne’er the twain shall meet.” Is this division useful and valuable or limiting and restrictive for a vast number of participants? Is it real or is it largely just perception? The for-profit world is supposedly where the tough and the self-serving duke it out for money. The non-profit world is supposedly where people who care go to make a difference in the world and be of selfless service. Furthering the depth of the chasm between the two, there is generally little cross-over or sharing of ideas. Yes, the tax laws and the accounting world have drawn a completely separate set of rules for each, but the divide extends much further to commonly include separate recruiting and training channels, leadership practices, and fundraising strategies, among many other differences.

What are some of the costs to those who participate in each world? First, there is the issue of for-profit businesses often being solely data-driven, rational, logical, and seemingly devoid of heart and soul in pursuit of profits for owners and/or investors. No time for emotions, caring, or love here. Strip out costs, increase results, do it fast and cheap – or so it seems. People are often seen and treated as tools to be used to accomplish earnings and, in many cases, eliminated as soon as possible (the classic Wall Street stereotype).

On the other hand, people who choose a career, volunteer, or donate at significant levels in not-for-profits, engage in a world where feelings and commitment run high and the expectation of giving, giving and giving of time, money and more for minimal recompense are the norm. Job performance and measuring results are often blurred by arguments about caring and “doing what” is right.” Scarcity is the paradigm that dominates this world and often leads to burn-out for both employees and funding sources.

What if we took a different view of both worlds? It is becoming common knowledge that young people are demanding work that makes a difference and roles that count “in the big picture” of the venture. Maybe us older folks want that too and have been afraid to speak out or have been numbed by the relentlessness of competition. Some of our clients fantasize about becoming philanthropists or someday working for a non-profit where they can engage their hearts and souls after they retire. How about bringing that into work now? If you do, you will probably lose interest in retiring.

From the not-for-profit leaders, I hear the frustrations of employees seemingly avoiding measuring results and having accountability and constantly having to “suck up” to big money sources who like to throw their weight around. Committed donors often express funding exhaustion from seemingly endless requests. Employees are often expected to work for less and take on “impossible odds” with insufficient resources in the name of the cause, leading to “care giver syndrome” or burn out.

Regardless of which world you are starting in, are you willing to become a leader who builds a bridge to include the other paradigm? For the profit world, that means articulating a purpose for the business that engages heart and soul, both for yourself and all around you. Add making a difference to your “triple-bottom-line!” Bring your business perspective and knowledge to your favorite not-for-profit and bring your exploration listening to your interactions. Learn and take the knowledge back to your business.  Assist the not-for-profit with measurement and accountability systems that don’t crush the spirit of the employees. Discover ways the not-for-profit can generate funds from its activities rather than simply relying on donations.

For you not-for-profit leaders, partner with business leaders in discovering opportunities for self-funding. Notice that your issues really are pretty much the same as those of your peers in the “business world” and learn from them. Bring your understanding of what moves people to action, whether they are volunteering or paid staff, to your business colleagues to strengthen their endeavors. Notice you make a profit too…you just call it increasing reserves.

The two worlds are really not as distinct and separate as they seem. Learning from each would be a significant contribution to both.

The ‘Said’ and the ‘Unsaid’

There is an expression I hear regularly around the table of the executive meetings I lead. It is “I have to___” (fill in the blank). To me, this comment comes from the “survival brain.” It is born in burden and sacrifice and it is a close cousin to “I should,” “I ought to,” “I gotta” etc. In addition, these openers carry an “unsaid” piece that follows on – something like “…but I can’t” or …”we don’t have the money and/or time”…”they won’t let me, etc.” When I hear the, “I have to…” it usually comes from a place of feeling victimized or overwhelmed and I know nothing fruitful will come of it. This conversational pattern passes for normal and quite often will get you off the hook of further questioning from peers. It lets your own mind off the hook for performance. It also masks the real consequences of failure to act, failure to produce the results in question, or failure to have that important, scary conversation that’s being avoided. Needless to say, there will be consequences!

However, closer examination of the “unsaid” part of these statements can be very valuable in discovering both what stops you and what will give you an opening for action. Let’s look at the simple example of “I need to…” (the ‘said’), ”but I don’t have the time” (the ‘unsaid’). Instead of suffering from internal criticism and stress, what if you were willing to say “this project is important and I am not going to assign it as a priority right now” or, “I have allocated all of our resources to other work.”

If you can stretch yourself to this level of honesty then you have brought yourself to a place where you can make conscious choices. You might even discover that you’d rather reduce other commitments in favor of the one that you were about to fail at and feel bad about.

Some of the power in bringing the unconscious and unsaid “cant’s,” “they won’t let me’s,” “I don’t know how’s,” etc. to the surface is being able to see what stops you being able to assure yourself that you really have prioritized all of your activities correctly, and being able to consciously design strategies to achieve the results you “have to” have.

Even better, by bringing the whole statement to conscious expression, you have returned yourself to a place where you really have choices. You are no longer under the bus, you are driving the bus!

To further your development, start noticing and recording your automatic, self-defeating statements and identify the “unsaid,” in each of them. Note the patterns. Ask the people around you to point out when you make these disempowering statements. Ask yourself – can I allow myself to be really honest with myself and others on my team right now?

While this activity may seem simple, it is not as easy as it sounds. The other side of doing some serious work in this area is dramatically increased productivity and greater clarity and freedom.

Are ‘Undiscussables’ Diminishing Your Team’s Effectiveness?

A colleague of mine recently joined the Board of Directors of a favorite non-profit with much enthusiasm, only to discover how much drama was going on behind the scenes among the Board members. She has found herself in the middle of one of the top issues that diminish team effectiveness – “the undiscussables.” The stories she has shared with me are very similar to those I have heard over and over in my practice from CEO clients about issues within their teams. A lot of money and time gets spent creating what appears to be shared vision, mission, values, and alignment. But what happens when all that work isn’t enough? What happens when the team remains dysfunctional even though they appear to share the stated vision, values, and desired outcomes? What lies beneath are the “real issues” or “undiscussables” that were not addressed in the planning sessions or consultants’ work.

What all of this comes down to is avoidance and self-defense. Although the specific drivers for avoidance and protective behavior vary widely among individuals, the common thread is fear – loss of power, employment, position, and respect of colleagues are just the beginning. From there it goes to our own personal fears and avoidance patterns learned in childhood.

So if you have done all your strategy work over the top of, or in avoidance of, fundamental clashes among your team members, then you never really had alignment. Nothing has really changed and the chances your vision will be fulfilled are minimal. As undiscussables.com would say, “it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room.”

It can be incredibly difficult, distressing and painful to surface and address these conflicts – especially if one of the “problem people” was previously very successful, worked well on other teams, or you have a personal relationship with that person. What’s more, you and/or your colleagues may not have developed the requisite skills and methodologies for leading productive conversations in these types of situations. Nevertheless, if you continue to let the “real issues” fester, distrust grows rapidly within the team (see my previous blog on the importance of trust). Team members feel unsafe and question your awareness and your leadership.

Depending on the level of your own skills and the degree of dysfunction, you may need to enlist outside assistance from a coach, consultant or mediator to surface, address, and resolve the issues.

So take some time to reflect and consider – are you avoiding real issues that are driven by behavior and personality within your team (and by you)? Are you allowing “undiscussables” to drive the bus? (Most of the groups I have worked with are, to a greater or lesser degree). If you recognize these issues and upon reflection your answer is “yes,” the reality is that the longer you avoid action, the worse it will get for everyone, including you.

The Quiet Power of Introverts

Are you missing out on a powerful source of creativity by overlooking the introverts in your organization and the way they work best? Susan Cain has a wonderful TED talk and book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.” She makes a compelling case for the power of introverts and it must be resonating with many given the success of her book. According to Ms. Cain, approximately 1/3 to 1/2 of the population are introverts. This alone should make us sit up and take notice of this topic. She defines introversion this way, “Introversion is not shyness, which is a fear of social judgment, but rather how you respond to stimulation.” Introverts function better with quieter, more low-key environments while extroverts thrive in high stimulation environments.

Ms. Cain points out that as a culture, our collective bias is toward extroverts. The popularity of work environments with “open plans” that have no, or low walls and constant noise are completely focused on extroverts. She also notes the current popularity of what she calls, “new group think,” which revolves around work being done in groups and highly valuing collective thinking.

In my work with Vistage, (which is obviously group work), and my other executive consulting engagements, I strongly advocate collaboration and am often facilitating groups to help them work more effectively together. That being said, I was struck by the wisdom of Ms. Cain’s arguments about the downsides of “group think.” One of her key points is that solitude is a crucial ingredient of creativity. The book, “Imagine: How Creativity Works,” by author Jonah Lehrer makes similar points.

So if perhaps one-third to one-half of your workforce is introverted, what type of culture and what type of work space do you have? Is your organization part of the “extrovert bias?” If a significant portion of your people would function substantially better with more solitude, and more solo work time, what can you do to make that happen? As Ms. Cain says, “when it comes to creativity and leadership we need introverts doing what they do best.” Here are a couple of recommendations she makes:

1 – Stop the madness of constant group work. Create space for more privacy, freedom and autonomy.

2 –“Go to the wilderness” – meaning get inside your own head and reflect. This is good for both introverts and extroverts to do.

Having a balanced work environment will benefit all of the people in your organization as well as yourself. It’s time to honor the introverts and value their softer voices. 

Trust: The Key Ingredient for a Group to Become a Team

In a USA Today article entitled, “On The Job: Teams better in concept than practice,” author Anita Bruzzese cited a University of Phoenix study that found that 95% of interviewees say teams serve an important purpose but only 24% prefer to work that way. Also, the study found that 7 of 10 say they have been part of a dysfunctional team. Mutual trust, respect and safety are fundamental to beginning to build productive interactions on teams. Without trust, there is no real sense of safety and without safety, group members will not take risks or share openly – both essential for a group to function as a high performance team.

In a presentation at Vistage’s International Member and Chair Conference: “Think Big,” Stephen Covey Jr. offered what he called “Three Big Ideas:”

1) Trust is an economic driver, not merely a social virtue

2) Trust is the #1 competency of leadership needed today

3) Trust is a learnable competency

He further pointed out that trust is a function of credibility and competence, (meaning behavior), and that both make up the basis for sustainability. According to Covey, the highest leveraged behaviors for creating trust are:

1) Talk straight – otherwise you are “counterfeit” which = spin, posture, and lying

2) Listen first – with intent to understand – don’t just listen in order to reply

3) Give trust – otherwise you are counterfeit by withholding trust while expecting it

So if only 24% prefer to work in teams and only 25% have not been on dysfunctional teams, then most of the people working together in organizations are at best groups and certainly not teams. How can leadership improve these dismal statistics?

First, take a hard look at yourself.

1)    Do you believe that trust has to be earned? Think about it. That is a game others can’t win because you hold all the cards. How has it been working for you? Are you willing to shift your paradigm by taking a risk and granting trust to others? This is what Covey says is one of the most important things to do.

2)   Get an outside assessment and establish a baseline for where your groups stand as of now. Is trust available in parts of your organization or only at some levels? Where is it missing? What is preventing it from being present? How do you know? If trust is not present it is likely not safe to express that openly. An outside consultant, coach or other organizational development professional is more likely to get at the real answers.

3)    Meet with your people, make yourself vulnerable and promise safety. Take the first risk and then invite your team members to share honestly about their experience working in your group or firm. Show them that you can be trusted with their honesty. Approach the conversation with a, “listen newly and be slow to understand,” approach.

The greater the trust in your organization the more likelihood you will have a high functioning team and not just a group.

The Enneagram: Powerful New Access to Leadership Growth From a Very Old System

The Pacific Northwest Vistage Chairs have been using a powerful system called “The Enneagram” for their own development and for some of their groups. For those who have not heard of it, The Enneagram has been around since at least the 4^th century. It is a system that identifies nine core life strategies, made up of habits of emotion and thought, that each of us uses to navigate life. The Enneagram is quite different from personality tests or even typical diagnostics. It’s a very rich system that gives people access to much deeper self-awareness and the possibility of positive change. Some of the most valuable things I’ve noticed about using The Enneagram are: The system identifies 9 different enneatypes, or 9 different points-of-view, and that helps create compassion both for self and others. Once you realize that people just have different focuses of attention, that they are reacting from deeply engrained habits, and that you are doing the same thing, other people’s behavior doesn’t seem so unexplainable.

It sheds light on what creates reactivity, stress and upset in yourself and others.

The 9 types are well-documented and once you have identified your type, you will have a custom roadmap for self-awareness and self-development, unlike many of the current “self-help” books and approaches that tend to advocate one overall approach for all.

So why would this be helpful for your leadership? As a leader, if you know your enneatype you will be able to more objectively and readily identify your gifts and strengths as well as your challenges and blind spots. You will gain rich insights into your leadership style from learning which strategy or enneatype you have. You will likely be surprised by much of what you discover.

Why is this helpful for leadership teams? The enneagram can be used to depersonalize issues, create greater mutual trust, respect and safety, and reduce stress, all of which contributes to significantly increased productivity.

Some caveats for using the enneagram. Finding out your type should be an “inside job” of self-discovery. It takes years of training and certification from a credible teaching organization to learn how to facilitate others identifying their own type accurately and effectively. It is neither valid nor ethical to attempt to type others after simply reading an enneagram book or taking a type test yourself.

If you are interested in learning more about the system, one place to start is with Enneagram Worldwide. The founders Dr. David Daniels and Helen Palmer are two of the leading developers and foremost teachers of the system in the world. A good book to start with is Dr. Daniels’ “The Essential Enneagram.” It has a self-test and a very good synopsis of each type that can help you get started investigating your own type. If you are interested in bringing the enneagram into your group or team, be sure to find a certified professional who can do the system justice and give you access to its full power. (In the Pacific Northwest you can use Enneagram in Seattle as a resource.)

Is Your Leadership a Persona?

Recently I was returning from vacation and while sitting on our flight home, the line "...hints at his bad-but-not-too-bad-boy persona" grabbed my attention. It was in an article by author Beverly Keel describing the brilliant career of country singer Tim McGraw. She went on to explain how McGraw has developed a willingness to be himself and make that his offering to the world. As a leader, how comfortable are you with being yourself as your offering? It so happened that my next activity was listening to a David Whyte talk about developing a truly authentic life and he said "...develop a kind of allergic reaction to the persona that you are constantly presenting to the world..."  *

According to dictionary.com one of the definitions of a persona is, “the mask or façade presented to satisfy the demands of the situation or the environment and not representing the inner personality of the individual; the public personality.” It’s important to consider how much of your leadership is dependent on a persona you have constructed. There are several reasons for this. First, other people can sense inauthenticity. It can create a variety of reactions from mild concern and luck of trust all the way to fear and suspicion. Second, if you are a dependent on a persona it takes a lot of energy to keep it up. What if you are found out? What if your team knew who you really are?

If you are consciously or subconsciously presenting a persona and are dependent on its perpetuation you are by definition restricted and limited. In today’s complex business environment you can’t afford to be limited. You need all of what you have to be accessible and available. In addition, a team that is suspicious or fearful of its leader is certainly not going to be creative, innovative or productive.

Years ago I was inspired by the lyric "I don't want to swim in a roped off sea" from a Jimmy Buffett song. If you want to be an inspiring leader consider how much of yourself you are holding back and why? In my lifetime pursuit of an unrestricted sea, I have learned that in committing myself to be fully me, fully self-expressed, I simply have to be that way and be willing to have the consequences. Not so bad when you stop to think there are consequences whether you are bringing all of yourself to the table or not.

The freedom you can achieve by truly being yourself will pay off. You will have more of who you are as a leader available and your team will benefit because they will know who they are really dealing with and working for.

*David Whyte - Arranging to Get Tired of Yourself, Midlife And The Great Unknown photo credit: Stian Eikeland via photopin cc

As a Leader Do People Come First With You?

From moment to moment, which comes first with you, the transaction or the person with whom you are dealing? This simple distinction may be impacting your leadership effectiveness, your team’s morale and passion, and any possibility of shared vision. While transaction first is pretty common in the USA, some cultures won't engage with you if you start there. Recently during dinner with a dear friend who lives on Antigua and manages a drug store, he shared his frustration about how the workers there all believe that relationships come first. Looking through his lens of productivity, it is easy to understand how his employees seemed to have questionable attitudes.

Around the same time I happened to be studying "The Cruising Guide to The Leeward Islands" by Chris Doyle and noted that the author made a very clear point of reminding the reader to start with "good morning" or “good day" before making a request if they wanted to get any cooperation. Given that many of the islands are independent and require paperwork to be completed in three to four different offices including customs, immigration, harbor master or the local police, (both coming and going), it pays to quickly connect with each official.

As I travel internationally I have become hyper aware of this topic and notice in nearly every country, some version of human connection takes place before any transactional conversations take place. For a business deal this may extend to meals, drinking, and socializing together before any business is discussed.

So let's zero in on the "cutting edge" as it were. Let’s consider each interaction in your day as a leader. What mindset do you bring to the engagement? Do your relationships with your people come first or are they tools to be used to get your results as fast as possible? I encourage you to stop for a moment here and really consider this. It’s important. If you recognize in yourself the priority of productivity over personal connection it’s time to pause and reflect.

If people know that you appreciate their feelings, emotions, and purpose or intention, they will feel respected and appreciated and from that place are far more likely to be productive. Does it mean you need to be everybody’s new best friend? Of course not. It actually only takes a minute or so to connect, so what may seem like slowing down to you may, in fact, speed up the amount of productive, error-free work that gets done.

Listen to yourself for the next day or two and maybe even take notes. How often are you making a human connection before a request or moving into business mode? How often do you go right to the transaction, even if you don't know the person at all? Consider how you might increase your satisfaction and the satisfaction of those around you if you pause to remember they are people first, not just transactions

Leadership in the Present Moment

One of the most remarkable misunderstandings in today’s leadership thinking is the instant, automatic, and unexamined assumption that going faster and faster, doing more and more in less time, leads to success. This is something author Susan Cain refers to the corporate bias to “act first, think later.” A question worth examining is - does this continuous acceleration lead to anything meaningful or lasting being accomplished? Speaking recently at Vistage International’s All City meeting in Seattle, David Whyte, the masterful poet, naturalist, and management consultant, pointed to one of the most obvious flaws in such an approach. As he so eloquently said, "One of the great tragedies of velocity is that after awhile you can't see anything that isn't moving at the same rate you are."

Think of all the people, perspectives, knowledge, insights and data that are left out at your velocity, (whatever it is). What about the person who thinks carefully and deeply about most everything before they act? What about the experience and ideas you are running over and ignoring as you rush to outdo your competitors, whether they be co-workers or another firm?

I can’t remember the source, but the point of the following statement is right on: “the person who is most present to the way that it is and the way that it isn’t will emerge as the leader, regardless of position.” Being present and only seeing things that are moving at your velocity are mutually exclusive, especially since your velocity is much more in your own head rather than out in the world. It is a home game, so to speak.

A couple of months ago I attended the Western Region Finals of a “cowboy” sport with horses known as “cutting.” In the event the cowboy and his/her horse has 2-1/2 minutes to work two, (and ideally three cows), in a particular ways that is scored by a group of judges.

The competition is intense and unforgiving for that 2-1/2 minutes. It is a physical contest but winning is mostly mental. I asked my 12 year old granddaughter, Olivia, who was competing in the youth category, how she managed herself and her answer was revealing. “When I enter the arena, I am absolutely present in the moment. I deal with it the way that it is.” She took fourth overall as a rookie.

Watching hundreds of cowboys compete over the weekend, it was clear that many of them, even though they had reached the region finals, were the victims of their “head trash,” as they say. How much of your leadership velocity is your own “head trash” rather than being present to the way that it is and the way that it isn’t?

If you adopted Robert Heifitz’s view that "Mastering reality is the central function of a leader," might you slow down to being present? Is it possible that you and your team would actually go much faster and more sustainably if you all focused your attention on being present to reality each moment?

Leadership: Your Accessible Humanity

“The degree to which you are willing to be open and therefore vulnerable strongly influences the degree to which others feel connected to you, are inspired by you, and are willing to trust you and your leadership.”  When I look back and reflect on my experiences with others’ leadership, a high point occurred while I was on an Alaskan vacation cruise with my oldest daughter last year. I was particularly impressed by the leadership displayed by many crew members and especially the Captain. In addition to having extraordinary knowledge about operating large motor vessels around the world, he had to have broad expertise in business including; operations, health and safety, customer service, motivating employees from several different nations, assuring environmentally friendly practices, international law, and much more to be effective in his job.

What really struck me most about this very busy Captain was his accessibility. With more than 2,000 passengers aboard, it was beyond impossible for everyone to dine at the Captain’s table. To solve that problem, he made a point of making himself available in creative ways multiple times throughout the trip. One of his most effective was a cooking demonstration he conducted on making Dutch pancakes.

He created openness or accessibility with light-hearted humor and by sharing part of his life with us as follows:

• He talked us through preparing and serving a dish his mom taught him how to make as a child including samples for each of us. It was surprising and fascinating not only that he could cook, but that he was willing to get up on stage in front of passengers and show us.
• He conducted the demonstration with the assistance of one of his staff who served as his “straight man” to keep a lively banter going. While the Captain took us through the food preparation, his assistant facilitated an “open Q&A” between him and the audience that included questions about his life on land during his time off, his relationships, and even his dog.

People left this very successful event with a sense of personal connection with the Captain which, of course, carried over to the crew and the cruise line itself. The experience got me to thinking more broadly about other times and ways that I have seen leaders share their humanity and what a powerful leadership move it is.

How available are you to your employees? Would you ever do something as accessible and personal as a cooking demonstration with a live no-holds-barred Q&A?

There is immense demonstrable value in allowing yourself to be seen as human. It creates greater trust and connection which calls forth increased risk taking, creativity, and collaboration.

Why not think of a creative way to let your team get to know you better? Demonstrate something you love – tying flies for fishing, building model airplanes, grilling, cooking or whatever?  It doesn’t have to take a lot of your time and it will be one of the ways that you grow your effectiveness as a leader.

Leadership: No One Has My Back

So many of the CEOs and Key Executives in my Vistage groups have painful back issues of various types that it spurred me to consider it as a leadership issue versus as simply individual problems and complaints. At this point, it has been well documented that there is a “mind/body connection” and that stress has a lot to do with our physical well being. We live in stressful times and being a leader certainly has its challenges. I am sure that the physical diagnoses for the back issues would vary, but there is also another way to look at this. Let’s take a metaphysical approach, more of a “what could this be about from a stress manifestation” perspective. In the realm of the metaphysical, physical issues are often seen through the lens of metaphor. From that angle, what I see as a common theme among the leaders having these back issues is a sense of “no one has my back.” While I raise this perspective I am not saying that the back issues aren’t physically real, or that no doctor’s help is required, but I am saying that examining the core beliefs underneath your stress could be important. A belief that no one has your back, for example, will lead to emotional suffering on your part but may also start to show up physically. When this happens your effectiveness will be reduced and you may wind up diminishing or suppressing those around you. Worst case, your team may see you as unsupportable, killing their sense of excitement about their own work, and not open to feedback, among other things.

In a number of cases, I have found the group member in question feels they are working really hard, always having to fix other’s work or do it themselves for it to be right, and that no one is looking out for them. Generally a sense of loneliness and some version of “I’m all alone,” “no one supports me,” or “I have to do it to for it to be right” are beliefs very close to the surface.

There is an excellent chance that the people around you really would like to support and contribute to you and also be high performers on a winning team. If you have beliefs like those listed above they will limit your ability to recognize this and keep you from seeing potential support and taking action to empower others.

If you recognize these feelings or have similar complaints, ask yourself what might be underneath your mental and perhaps physical complaints?  If you dig really deeply into your own story, do you have a limiting belief like the ones in this article? Attempting to cure that pain by working harder, being the super hero, and demanding actions that disrupt others to meet your needs will only leave you in a vicious circle and intensify the isolating sense of “no one has my back.”

If you resonate with this topic it’s time to own up to the ways you have been limiting yourself with your mental constructs. Take some time to reflect and consciously identify what you would like to have different in your work experience and in your experience with your team. Instead of moving forward on automatic pilot, take some time to alter your behavior and approach and see if you don’t get different results by doing this. 

You may find yourself being far more effective and having much less stress.

So You Are a Genius? At What?

“A perpetual problem of Presidents, CEOs, and other leaders is that just because you are a bloody genius in one area it means you are going to be a genius in everything else you do. First thing that gets leaders into trouble is that they go way outside their area of expertise but they’re so often used to succeeding that they don’t even know how to take feedback on this stuff” – Ken Wilber This statement taken from a video on the Integral Operating System by Ken Wilber is certainly provocative and would definitely get “his vote cancelled” with most of our clients. However, if we step back and consider it with curiosity, it does raise interesting points regarding the unique contributions each of us brings to leadership. Do you know what your unique, valued contributions are? Do you know your blind spots? Are you willing to admit them to yourself, (or anyone else?) Do you feel compelled to pretend you are great at everything? Who do you let give you real and direct feedback?

Perhaps the targets of Wilber’s allegations walk the halls of Wall Street and global corporations? Our clients are on Main Street, (who create most of the new jobs, by the way), and often seem to be more impacted by their self doubts than runaway arrogance or narcissism. Even the few who seem arrogant on the surface are masking an underlying fear that they are somehow stupid and/or incompetent.

Attempts to avoid or disguise areas where you feel weak by trying to appear strong over the top of the opposite deep concern will actually cause mistrust. Amazingly, people pretty much always know such things at some level and know they must be wary of you when you are not forthcoming and authentic. “Fake it ‘til you make it” only works in pushing yourself to develop new levels of performance skills. It’s not so useful when it’s your entire presence or how you conduct your relationships.

If you really intend to be an effective leader, find out about your blind spots and “shadows.” Find trusted advisors who will give you honest feedback. There are a number of 360 assessments available that are effective at this work. Very few of our clients have the courage to take one – do you? There are also a number of excellent leadership and personality profiles on the market that can give you an unbiased view of how you fit with your own assessment of the requirements of your job.

Bill Wagner, Co-Founder of Accord Management Systems, administered two such assessments for members of one of my Vistage executive groups and worked with the members to conduct a Gap Analysis. This allowed them to develop strategies to team with others to fill in areas of importance where they see themselves as deficient rather than ignoring the gap or faking their competence.

You have a choice. You can keep emphasizing your greatest strengths and ignoring the other important areas of your leadership, or worse, pretending that you are brilliant in those areas too. Bottom line – pretense makes you a delusional leader. Alternatively, you can strive to be authentic and transparent. This might make you vulnerable, always in a state of learning, and having to team with others to accomplish your goals. The rewards are increased productivity, reduced stress, and being able to lead an integrated life.

“No” – The Key to Living An Integrated Life

I just returned from the 2013 Keepers of the Flame TEC Chair/Vistage Chair event. It inspired me to revisit this post I wrote for the Vistage Executive Street blog after last year's gathering. Enjoy!

I have written previously about the power of “No” as a key to stress reduction and an access to personal power. My purpose in returning to this “magic word” for today’s subject matter is to emphasize its importance in fulfilling our life purpose and strategic business and leadership intentions.

I recently spent a very powerful weekend with 83 very senior CEO Coach/mentors who meet once a year at the Hotel Boulderado in Boulder, CO to share, learn, develop their art, celebrate their relationships with each other, and most of all, to refresh themselves and their work.

They call themselves the Keepers of The Flame. The only real entrance requirement is an invitation and a minimum of ten years of successful experience as a Vistage/TEC Chair. All have very extensive experience in their work and have thought deeply about how to produce effectiveness and satisfaction in their clients’ careers and in their own lives.

We spent most of the weekend in a series of breakout groups, each examining a dimension of distinguishing and leading an authentic, purposeful life. To warm us up and get us in a creative mode for the weekend, we read “The Path of the Everyday Hero” by Lorna Catford and Michael Ray before arriving.

In one of the segments on “Balance and Prosperity,” we focused on a series of questions that you may want to investigate for yourself:

1)  What is balance for you?

2)  Who controls it?

3)  What is needed for this balance?

4)  What’s blocking you?

5)  What needs to be done?

6)  Your next steps?

It turned out all of the members of my breakout group on this topic could be regarded as very successful in balancing the rich and varied dimensions of their lives. In examining the “whys” and “hows” of their success, the discussion centered around the idea of leading an integrated life rather than pursuing balance, which we all felt was pretty much an illusion.

Focusing on a greater purpose or vision – a “Yonder Star” – living their values, and being the same person everywhere in their lives were the common access points to prioritizing and organizing activities and producing integration on a regular basis.

As very busy people, we realized the willingness to freely say “No” to many of the requests that come our way which are not high priority relative to our Yonder Star is essential to staying productively on the path and feeling nurtured in the process. To be able to say “No,” requires seeing that we always have a choice, in every moment. It is the act of choice that returns us to a powerful place as the authors of our own lives. While we may always be emphasizing one or two areas of our lives over the rest, we can redirect energy and attention to the neglected areas at the appropriate times.

Have you declared your Yonder Star? Do you have strategies and partners to assist you in fulfilling it? Can you identify places in your daily life where saying “No” will give you more time and energy for your priorities?

Leadership: Acquit Yourself

I have written previously about those harsh decisions that we have all made about ourselves at a very early age, (see this post), and have fiercely defended ever since, usually without realizing what was driving us. There is rapidly increasing understanding among business leaders that lack of self-awareness or failure to take responsibility for the dysfunctional behavior that arises from having that core personal decision “triggered” in the present is at best non-productive and more likely can be a fatal leadership flaw. A number of disciplines are saying that when you were at a very formative, early awareness state something happened that caused you to make a very negative declaration that forms your “shame” or “original wound.” Unfortunately, you were the judge, jury, and jailer at that trial and you issued a life sentence. With that decision in place, you had no choice but to develop a strategy to survive childhood and to make sure nobody ever found out about that deep seated negative belief.

Your strategy worked in certain ways because after all, you are still here. Unfortunately, a strategy that was put together by a 3 or so year old frequently plays out poorly when a 30, 40, 50 or 60 year old invokes it, often at very inappropriate moments, and in response to a perceived threat. The “survival” part of the brain can’t tell the difference between a physical threat and a threat in language so “fight, flight, or freeze” behavior is all that is going to be available after the threat response is triggered.

It’s time to get yourself a new trial and a new, less biased defense attorney that will present a whole lot of evidence from your recent decades as a successful human being.  This more current, adult perspective will make it clear to the new jury, (your adult self), that you are a valuable contributor to society, an excellent leader, and a caring, committed person and family member. The new evidence will be overwhelming and, after intense study and review, the jury will have no choice but to acquit you of being stupid, unlovable, unworthy or whatever the exact and very specific nature of your very personal conviction was.

In your jailer capacity, set yourself free. If you must, you can be your own parole officer to report incidences when “reversion” takes place. Those will become less frequent and less harsh as you own your conviction, forgive the first judge, jury, and jailer, and take on the persona that is you as a fully functioning adult.

It may take awhile for others to trust your new mode since you trained them to expect and respond to your periodic 3 year old behavior. Let them know you are practicing being a new you. They will appreciate and respect your practice and your leadership effectiveness will skyrocket.