"Try" - Getting Beyond Failure and Disappointment

“Do or don’t do, there is no trying” — Yoda We had a great discussion in one of our mastermind groups about “trying” – the hopelessness of it, the fear of failure in it, and the access it provides to dealing with “real issues” and producing real increases in effectiveness.

There have been a number of people who have examined the notion of “try or trying” and confronted the hopelessness in it. Saying “I’ll try” seems to be a socially acceptable statement that allows both parties in an accountability conversation to drift off into the delusion that something is going to happen.

The biggest issue with these types of “try” statements is that you are almost guaranteed to get away with it, others will buy it, and there will seldom be any of the promised results. To some degree, there’s an element of “I won’t call you on yours if you don’t call me on mine…”

The second big loss is that when you get away with deluding others and yourself, you never really look “under the hood” to see what the unsaid block is to actually accomplishing what you were “trying” to do. What stops you, probably over and over, robbing you of both results and satisfaction?

In our work, we talk about any statement with “try” in it as an “impotent conversation” that embodies a “said” and an “unsaid” portion. The “said” portion will always be something like “I’m going to try to be more consistent in my performance in that area.” The unsaid portion is “…but I can’t…or he won’t let me…or we don’t have any budget for it or I don’t know how…or…” Fill in your own version by catching yourself in the act of using “try.”

The next time you hear yourself say “I’ll try…” stop and ask yourself what limiting belief is hidden in the unsaid part of the statement? Generally it is an old story about yourself, others or your circumstances. It is facilitated by some fear or concern and is one of your excuses to get off the hook in some way.

Examining that belief newly, you may discover that it is no longer true, if it ever was. Unexamined, it keeps you from experiencing your own power, discovering the resources you will need, or garnering the support from people you may have believed wouldn’t support you.

After some practice at catching yourself and documenting your “unsaids,” you may find a whole new level of energy, enthusiasm, and performance. You may identify the conversational patterns or relationships where you will say “no” instead of the usual “I’ll try.” You may learn to hear requests more clearly and accurately and to make counter offers when you really can’t meet the request. You will be much more effective and reliable when you do say “yes” and others will see your productivity as having taken a dramatic jump.

Go Bold or Go Home

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” -Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles,” From Chapter 7, Section 3)

As Marianne Williamson points out in the opening quote it is not our inadequacy that keeps us from “going for it,” but often, the opposite – our sense that we are very powerful.

My wife and business partner, Suzanne, and I did a two day leadership development workshop with the national Board of Directors and leadership team for The Hunger Project Mexico in Mexico City and I was reminded of what being bold is all about. From the beginning in 1977 leadership and participants in The Hunger Project have been told that ending hunger on the planet is impossible. The commitment to end hunger on has meant that to participate is to be willing to take on the impossible, week-in and week-out. This is a situation that sends many people in search of some other game to play!

In the leadership workshop we focused on what each of us must bring up in ourselves to work on such a project. The time, talent and treasure required of each long-term participant is unmatched in most environments and yet many people keep participating and increasing their involvement over time. Why?

As we pushed workshop participants deeper into the inquiry of what it will require of them to be leaders in the various roles they have spoken for, two quotes came to the fore - Marianne Williamson’s, and funnily enough, a theme for the fast food chain Del Taco, “Go Bold or Go Home.” It made no sense for someone to stay in the workshop who was not willing to commit themselves to full-on participation in the work of ending hunger and poverty in Mexico and the world. It was either stay and “Go Bold” or Go Home.

As we dug deeper, the contrast between our fears, concerns for looking good, and our circumstances just did not measure up to our commitment to ending hunger and poverty. While we worked mainly on methodologies for how to be more effective in our work, it further became clear that for each participant, it really boiled down to courage – the courage to step beyond worries and concerns and unleash their power.

We confronted the issue of fear versus power by addressing the topic of fundraising and money. This subject will bring up fear more quickly than anything I know. On the other side of that coin, I also know that it offers the opportunity for fundraisers and investors to both experience their power!

So the question for leaders becomes – do you ever confront your deepest fears in order to be able to be your boldest? Do you ever help your teams do that? How can you bring yourself and your team face to face with the contrast between everyday fears and the deep seated sense of enormous power that each of us has? Are you ready to take the path of “Go Bold or Go Home?”

Listening And Collaboration: What Has “No” Got to Do With It?

“Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” –David Oxberg Have you ever done a “listening course?” Probably not. It’s far more likely you have done presentation, speaking, and/or negotiation courses. Most programs for professional development that relate to communication have to do with how we present ourselves and how we speak versus how we listen.

Collaborative leadership requires active listening, willingness to consider, validate and explore others’ ideas, and being open to ideas that are not already in your “mental File Cabinet.” Given the cultural emphasis on our personal presentation and communication style you may not have considered how much impact how you listen has on your conversations, their effectiveness and their outcome. So what prevents you from listening? At first it may be a response to personal beliefs about leadership. Many believe that leaders should be steering, requesting or perhaps even demanding things from their team instead of listening.

But there’s more to it. I find that underneath many leaders avoid certain conversations and/or people out of their fear that if they listen, they will have to agree. In these cases they have presumed that the conversation or person will be bringing up ideas that are not part of their historic mental File Cabinet of ideas and beliefs. They are unwilling to even entertain unfamiliar ideas, let alone change any of theirs.

There is an important piece here–the option to say “no.” It is key and its use is closely correlated with courage, or the lack thereof. (By courage, I’m referring to the poet David Whyte’s view, which he defines as “developing a friendship with the unknown.”)

Here’s the deal. You can listen generously and openly, consider the other’s ideas and proposals and then say “no,” if you still aren’t enrolled. The majority of people will be more thrilled by your willingness to consider their views than put off by your “no.”  After all, you have already been saying no by not listening. Now, you are being authentic, after genuinely considering the views of others.

So the next time you see that person coming towards your office, pause and listen to the story you are telling yourself about what’s next. “I’ve got too much to do to listen to them.” “If I stop and pay attention they will never leave…” What if that’s all mental defense, protecting your cherished beliefs and avoiding your own discomfort at possibly having to say “no?”

What if you get courageous? What if this time, you listen openly and with genuine interest? I refer you back to the quote that started this post “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” –David Oxberg

What kind of positive impact could listening have on your relationships and your team?

4-24-13 Suzanne Frindt Appeared on The Michael Dresser Show

On Wednesday, April 24th Suzanne appeared on The Michael Dresser Show to talk about leadership and her book, "Accelerate: High Leverage Leadership for Today's World."  

Listen to internet radio with Michael Dresser Show on Blog Talk Radio

Leadership: What Happened to "Indivisible?"

Indivisible: “Not divisible; unable to be divided or separated.”

In a time where public conversations seem to be attempting to capitalize on dividing us; by political party, 99%/1% (economic bracket), religious belief, nation of origin, you name it, what has happened to the inspirational idea of “one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all?”

One company has stepped up with a strategy to break the divisiveness mindset gripping our country and is taking a leadership role in directly impacting one of the core issues in our society – creating economic opportunity.

Starbucks has been running a fundraising drive for some months now, in partnership with Opportunity Finance Network to create jobs by providing financing to community businesses. It has invested $5 million through its Starbucks Foundation to get the campaign going and invites patrons at all Starbuck’s retail stores to fund from $5 to $249 at the register. Larger amounts will be accepted at http://www.createjobsforusa.org.

Participants receive a very brief, informative note and a wristband with the theme “Indivisible” on it. Much more information and wonderful success stories are available on the website along with details on how a contribution actually generates seven times the initial amount when the micro-finance loans are made in the community.

So why would a company like Starbucks choose the word “indivisible?” I didn’t find any discussion of that on my initial reviews of the materials, perhaps because it is so obvious. Conditions will probably not change much for a long time, particularly for the folks on the low end of the economic ladder unless we pull together as a nation and focus on creating opportunity.

It is a well established fact that entrepreneurs and small business create the vast majority of jobs in our country. Even more than jobs, in my mind, is the business of creating opportunity. Meaning that people have openings to express their creativity, to innovate, to bring new ideas and ways of doing things into the marketplace, not just offer the “sweat of their brows.” This is how new things grow in our economy.

I would ask you to take a moment and consider – are you a "divider" in your thoughts and speaking?  Are you gripped by the current self-defeating public conversations? Are you spreading the negativity among your teammates, company, family and community? Are you just busy trying to get more for yourself or can you experience the longer term benefits to all of us from activities that benefit all?

With the "create jobs" campaign a renewed paradigm called “Indivisible” has been proposed. Will you join in the conversation and the funding?

Creating a Culture That Delivers

“When every resource in your organization is efficiently and collaboratively working toward a desired end state, without leader involvement in daily activity, you have an execution culture.” - Stuart Orr In his presentation “Executing Strategy: Unlocking Your Organization’s Market Potential,” Stuart Orr of vision2execution, addressed one of the greatest opportunities for productivity gains in our economy today. He calls it the “vision gap” and cites two powerful quotes to drive his point home.

“The average firm achieves about 63% of its strategic plan.” - McKinsey & Harvard Business School study

“Only 5% of large-scale changes actually work.” - John Kotter: HBS author of “A Sense of Urgency”

Stuart digs deeply and delivers practical ways to organize your thoughts and actions so that the team delivers at high levels and has a meaningful experience in the process. What was most exciting to me was how his ideas speak to the question we have asked leaders for years, “what time could you go home if everyone in your organization simply came to work, did their job, and went home.” What’s your answer?

The piece I want to add to Stuart’s approach is that it all starts with you as a leader and your willingness to challenge your own ways of thinking and being in very fundamental ways. If you are not willing to allow deep intervention into your historic assumptions and beliefs, all of which reside in your own mind, his very sound and practical approach will not be heard or processed in a way that leads to new outcomes.

The challenge is neither easy nor a one-time occurrence. Like going to gym, it’s all about repetition and consistency. It is also unlikely you can do it completely by yourself. You already know what your own self-referential thought processes produce – the way that it is and is not for you and your interactions right now.

This is why peer groups like Vistage are so important and perhaps is the explanation why members stay inVistage groups for 20, 30, and even 40+ years. Having a group of competent people around you who you don’t control and yet who are deeply committed to your success and well being keeps you exploring possibilities versus holding on to past ways of thinking and speaking that are no longer serving you and those around you. If you are not a “group person,” it’s important to do one-to-one work with a coach or some other type of outside support professional.

If you don’t yet have access to a Vistage group, and aren’t ready to hire a coach, download a set of our Operating Principles by clicking here. (These Principles have been developed and road tested with hundreds of people for success during the last 20 years.) Ask yourself, “what might be possible in my interactions and the outcomes I am working on with my team if we were living these principles?”

So as a leader, how much do you want a culture that delivers – an “execution culture?” Are you willing to really challenge your existing mindset? Please be slow to answer…it is not necessarily comfortable. It will take real courage. If you want a culture that delivers it starts with you.

Displacement: A Powerful Leadership Tool

“Displacement” is an unconscious defense mechanism whereby the mind redirects affects from an object felt to be dangerous or unacceptable to an object felt to be safe or acceptable. ~Sigmund Freud “Displacement” actually has a variety of definitions. Our use of the term is similar to this one “the displacing in space of one mass byanother” only we mean it metaphorically. It came from our work and observation of how non-productive thoughts and related behaviors recede into the background in the presence of Vision-Focused Leadership and how quickly they return when the vision collapses. The phenomenon we witness is much like when water has been displaced by a boat. The water doesn’t go away, but the boat takes up the space where water used to be. While it is coincidental that we arrived at a term used in a different field, it is interesting to discover that Freud’s views of brain function actually seem to validate our observations. The difference is he was seeing subconscious avoidance behaviors and we are observing a conscious shift to displace non-productive thoughts and behaviors.

A powerful shared vision will “displace” much of what people gossip and complain about in an organization. Statements like “we have a really dysfunctional company” are seldom heard and motivating people isn’t a major issue, as the shared vision unleashes passion, commitment, and focused action.  The focus on vision displaces much of the friction and waste that go on when people’s day-to-day experience at work looks much more like a soap opera.

It’s important to note that the soap opera components have not gone away. People have not magically “gotten better” or “fixed themselves.” (This is why we say “displacement” instead of “replacement.”)  Friction and waste have been displaced, for the time being, much as water has been displaced by a boat. The water didn’t go away either. The boat hull, like a shared vision, allows air, boat components, fuel, and passengers to fill the space of the displaced water.

The same experience applies in our own individual lives and work. I often hear clients trying to fix themselves and making relatively useless statements like “I’ve got to stop doing that,” or “I’m going to stop thinking that way.” I have observed very few instances where anyone, including me, ever delivered on such a statement. I have observed many times where I and others have displaced the noise in our heads with powerful, productive thoughts and actions after we have declared and owned a new vision.

I stumbled into Freud’s notion about displacement in Wikipedia when I was getting ready to write this post. It’s interesting to note that it got very little attention in the psychology world and certainly hasn’t crept into any of our business lexicon. I suspect that part of the issue, in addition to the academic nature of the discussion at the time, has been his focus on understanding “broken people” and how they avoid “reality.” (Leading from a belief that “my people are broken and they need to be fixed” doesn’t work either.)

Do you have a clear purpose or vision for yourself and/or your organization that you can articulate simply?Does your team or family have a powerful, shared vision? What thoughts and behaviors might be displaced if you get busy consciously leading from a place of vision?

Singular Goals: At What Cost to Vision?

 

 I’m starting off this blog with a fairly strong statement: Setting singular, specific, and easily measurable short-term goals can systematically lead to the demise of an organization’s true vision and mission, often without anyone noticing for years.

I have been involved in two separate and very diverse cases where clear, singular goals with short-term measurements and important rewards attached have been causing systemic flaws in overall intentions. These incidents occurred in two different and historically very successful organizations. In one case, the organization has identified the issue and is taking very effective corrective action. The other organization seems unaware and longer-term negative consequences are not yet clear.

The first case is with The Hunger Project, an organization very dear to my heart for more than 30 years. THP had a five-year grant to demonstrate “scale-up” of its effective Epicenter program in Africa. Much effort was put into identifying all of the critical criteria for measuring a self-sustaining community throughout the development of the program.  When the grant came, however, singular pressure occurred across the field organization to open new Epicenters, build buildings, and declare the earlier Epicenters self-sustaining to satisfy the objectives of the grant.

Fortunately, our African leadership identified that some of the communities had not truly reached a self-sustaining basis. They dug for real data around the level of effort and time required to truly achieve a self-sustaining community. The program has now been redesigned focusing on key human accomplishment criteria, the grant has been extended, and people throughout the organization are refocused on the big picture and broader measures of success. They did an amazing job of pausing, assessing and refining to be sure that the criteria for success were appropriate and that short-term “success” did not damage the long term vision and mission. When they found they were off course, they made the necessary adjustments to insure the outcomes that really mattered.

In the second case, the issue the organization is facing is that different departments deal with short and long-term issues and consequences. Those in one department are incentivized to launch new projects quickly, while the other group will be held accountable for long-term performance of each project. As more and more projects are launched prematurely to gain the short-term incentives, doubt is building “in the field” about the effectiveness of each new project leader and the overall credibility of the firm’s work over time. To date, higher-level managers seem unaware of what is happening or are driven by singular, short-term goals that will justify current, possibly detrimental behavior for some time. This is a recipe for missing the big picture and the ultimate vision, and higher purpose of an organization. The consequences will likely gradually develop and then seemingly “suddenly appear” and it may take a lot of time, money, effort and resources to correct, (if it’s actually a correctable situation in the end).

Do you see your organization in either of these two cases?  How are you motivated and measured?  If you have not yet stepped up to address underlying systemic issues and “moved to the high ground” of strategic leadership the way The Hunger Project leadership has, what are the long run costs?  As a leader you must be the keeper of the vision and mission and you must collaborate with your organization to understand if the path you are taking is the right one.

Can Leadership Be Learned?

“Leadership cannot be taught, learned, or imitated…” - Balaji Krishnamurthy

According to Balaji, leadership can’t be learned, leadership must be developed. Rick Eigenbrod, another Vistage Speaker I heard recently, also focused on development. My third recent encounter with this idea happened throughout my trip with The Hunger Project to Mexico City and Chiapas.

One of the definitions of “development” is “the work of digging openings to…give access to new workings and of erecting necessary structures.” This happens to be part of my dictionary’s seventh definition of development and it refers to mining. For purposes of this post, it occurs to me as quite perfect.

Interrupting current mindsets and creating new openings for thought and action are where The Hunger Project starts. It’s exciting and unique approach starts with what is called “Vision, Commitment and Action Workshops,” during which mindsets that may have existed for 500 years are constructively disrupted and new, creative thoughts and actions are generated. People start creating their own opportunities and solving their own problems. Isn’t that what leaders are seeking from managers and team members?

In the not-for-profit world, a broad spectrum of work done with resource poor people around the world, including The Hunger Project’s, is categorized as “development.” Interestingly enough, a major consulting firm recently studied The Hunger Project’s work in Africa and concluded that all the other programs being run by others either started with training or with building infrastructure, hoping for a transformation in present behaviors which was seldom demonstrated.

So why don’t the ideas of learning and training work? Fundamentally, learning means “there is something outside myself, and if I had it, I would be a good leader.” Training also implies there is a successful way “out there” and if you are trained in it, you will be successful. The flaw in both approaches is that they start with your focus somewhere other than reaching inside yourself to bring out the authentic you and the unique leadership you can bring that can honed over the years by experience. Imitation more or less defeats itself for the same reasons as training and learning.

Your current mindset about leadership makes you the leader you are, the collaborative skills you demonstrate, and the results you are getting. If you intend to grow your leadership, your reach and impact, you must start digging new openings in your thoughts and beliefs. You must build the ability to self-reflect with some level of objectivity and you must learn to receive feedback and even criticism effectively.

Find people and programs that challenge your mindset. If you commit to this approach and work at it over time, you will find yourself creating and erecting new structures of thought and action which dramatically alter your results and those of the people around you.

Are You Overwhelmed By Circumstances?

“He has come to realize that the tyranny of the urgent is a false calling for one’s life.” -Paul Heagen, Vistage Executive Street Blog Post, 8/25/11, commenting on lessons learned from Steve Jobs Ever increasing volumes of information, (accurate, conflicting, and false), the constant barrage of shrill rhetoric, and the absence of visibility of where things are headed are the order of the day. Recently, a small group of my Vistage members discussed the subject and not surprisingly, words like doubt, fear, and fatigue popped out quickly as the participants shared.

Some preferred to spend more time on sorting out what might be reliable data, some suggested paying closer attention to one’s spiritual traditions and connection, and several pointed to their Vistage Group membership as a place to connect and find sanity. All these approaches met with consensus.

Discerning effective thoughts, feelings, and actions from the intense noise in the media and their day-to-day interactions with others seemed to be an important common thread. What has happened to our sense of visibility on where and how to lead? Did we ever really have real visibility or was it an illusion?

What if there never was any certainty – just the shared belief over the last decade that somehow we could predict where markets were headed, how competitors would behave, or how banks and creditors might respond?  I’m not naively suggesting things aren’t tough.  I’m wondering if the change is within us, a collective shift in our mindset, rather than “out there” solely in the circumstances?

During the Great Depression Napoleon Hill wrote “Think and Grow Rich” as a response to the collective conversation for malaise and failure that he was observing around him.  I’d call today’s public conversation “Speak and Grow Poor…”

Great leadership, as Paul Heagen points out in referencing Steve Jobs’ well-known Stanford speech, is only clear looking backwards. “Better to trust your guts, even your sense of destiny, your ability to change the world around you.”

Circumstances are always with us and ever more intrusive due to our wired world and the pressure to respond to “the tyranny of the urgent.” Correlating behavior with circumstances produces the opposite of Steve Jobs’ leadership.  It produces reaction, exhaustion, and basically, a soap opera.

Commitment to a shared vision is the energizer that will get you and your team charged up, in action, and finding ways to succeed, regardless of circumstances. Fatigue comes from resisting committing rather than from commitment. Commitment spawns a sense of freedom and clarity.

Shared vision and commitment will not be found in doing a better job dealing with your circumstances.Courage, the courage to be with the unknown, to “develop a friendship with the unknown,” as the poet David Whyte points out, is the missing link that will move you from reacting to your circumstances to great leadership.

Leadership Lessons from The One Arm Bandit

Do you have the courage and tenacity to completely redesign your life in the middle of it and create a whole new level of success for yourself? Our family enjoyed a good old fashioned Wild West show at the Ellensburg, WA rodeo over Labor Day weekend, complete with buffalo, cowboys, cracking whips, and amazing riding stunts. All of this just from the mid-performance entertainment – an act known as, “The One Arm Bandit.” We have seen this act many times and it never ceases to be exciting and inspiring.

What moves The One Arm Bandit from the category of just another act to extraordinary and inspiring for the rest of us is to realize that John Payne, a cowboy, was electrocuted in June 1973 and fell 25 feet in the process. His work partner revived him with CPR but the experience left him with severe injuries and without his right arm.  Would you have pretty much given up on your life at that point? I have a strong feeling I would have…

Rather than give up, John completely reinvented himself and has been performing his rodeo show now for 23 years. He has won the Professional Rodeo Cowboy Association (PRCA) “Specialty Act of The Year” award eleven times. His Facebook page has lots of pictures and you can watch his inspiring act on YouTube as well. But that’s not the point, is it?

In his powerful 2 CD set, “Midlife and the Great Unknown,” David Whyte, author, poet and speaker, addresses the real issues and challenges to be faced in creating the amazing re-invention of himself that John Payne has accomplished.  Some might say, “he HAD to do it, there was no choice.”  Perhaps he did and perhaps he could have become a dependent and dwelled in being a helpless victim.

The lesson and challenge here is – will you even allow yourself to cause a dramatic shift in your own life without a catalyst like a horrific incident? The statistical evidence is that you will not. Fast Company some years ago featured an article that said even when told they would die of a heart attack if they didn’t change their habits, nine out of ten did not.

Maybe you can’t think of any reason why you would even want to take on a dramatic change.  Maybe you think it would mean your life isn’t working now if you took one on.  What if it doesn’t? What if it’s all about joy, excitement, possibility and loving your life?  What if it’s about keeping your business relevant in this dynamic, borderless world in which we find ourselves?

I invite you to use this moment to consider a much bigger game, notice all the thoughts that immediately rush into your head to push that consideration out, and keep exploring possibility for yourself.  If this seems tough, but somehow compelling, trying getting David Whyte’s CD. This is your one life. Why not lead it to its fullest potential?

Mutual Trust, Respect & Safety – Essential Ingredients of Collaboration

Collaboration is a hot topic these days. When it comes up people tend to nod their heads and affirm “ah yes, collaboration, I know what that means,” and then immediately turn around and do something distinctly uncollaborative. Because we believe collaboration is fundamental to the new model of leadership we want to explore ingredients we believe are necessary to set the context for a collaborative environment.

To begin, we believe to even get started collaborating there must be an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect, and safety. This is something when raised with clients often gets a lot of heading nodding and affirmation of understanding, and then almost immediately someone does something that is counterproductive to this context. So if your reaction is “oh yes, I already know what that is” check yourself. Do you really know or is that thought one that Suzanne Frindt would call “instant, automatic and unexamined” – more of a reaction than deep understanding?

In order to diagnose the level of mutual trust, respect and safety within your team and organization you will need to be a bit of a detective. We always recommend starting any inquiry with yourself first. So try an experiment and self-observe for a day. When you are engaging with others are you aware of your body language, your body sensations, the thoughts racing through your head as you speak and the physical responses of your listener? Do you even really hear your own words? Your tone of voice? Can you identify where you are “coming from?” Your frame of mind? Your agenda? These questions are simple but not necessarily easy to practice. If the truth is that your communication just pours out and you’ve never even thought to examine it, start by actually listening to yourself as you speak. If you feel successful observing yourself in this way then see if you can also “be responsible for what get’s heard” (one of our basic Operating Principles – get a free download of them here). What look do you see on the face of the person you are speaking with? Do they sit forward or back after you speak? Do their eyes sparkle or go flat? These are simple tests as to how safe it is to engage with you at that moment.

After learning how well you create an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect and safety with those you work with, it’s important to consider the whole team. The best test I know of regarding safety in a conversation with a group is “is there anything you wouldn’t share?” If so, that is the degree to which it is not safe. I am not saying you must be able to spill your guts. In professional environments it’s important to be open, but not necessarily personal. So we are not talking about exposing your deepest darkest personal history. Often in groups, people don’t even feel safe giving honest professional feedback about an idea that is on the table. If you can’t provide your honest perspective on the direction of the business, or a new product or service, then it’s not safe. By observing your willingness to be open you will have a conscious measure of safety.

So how safe is your work environment? Do you and your team interact within a framework of mutual trust respect and safety? If not, this is a critical piece to start building if you want to become truly collaborative.

Leadership: Are You Committed?

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.  Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.” - W. A. Murray, Scottish Himalayan Expedition, 1951

We find this quote from W.A. Murray to be rich and something worth spending time with.  He’s not talking about prediction here or simply the idea of projecting what’s already known, (which is what we find happens in so many business planning sessions we’ve been involved in). He’s talking about going beyond the known and the safe the way Himalayan mountain climbers do. (Read “High Altitude Leadership: What The World’s Most Forbidding Peaks Teach Us About Success” by Chris Warner and Don Schmincke for much more on this.)

Murray is talking about a path that is not based on past experience and evidence.  It’s a created path that has team members moved and inspired to innovative action and new solutions. It requires a new form of leadership that goes beyond the top-down, command-and-control model in which most of us grew up.

So our question to you is – are you committed to being a leader?

We need to be clear by what we mean when we say “leadership.” It is not seniority or power conferred by rank. We are talking about possessing the unique capacities of real leadership. The definition we like most comes from Warren Bennis, “Leadership is the wise use of power. Power is the ability to translate intention into reality and sustain it.”

So if we look juxtapose Murray’s quote on commitment and Bennis’ quote on leadership what jumps out immediately? Perhaps something like “gee, how do you do that?”  After all, although Murray uses the word commitment, isn’t he really talking about an existential expression of surrender and courage? He’s not saying, “let’s all go exercise our left brained, rational thought processes, take on the impossible, and finish by lunch,” and neither is Bennis. What does it look like to translate intention into reality, let alone sustain it? How in the world does Providence fit into that equation?

This leadership mindset calls for real courage, or the ability to be with the unknown, while committing oneself and the team to outrageous goals and timelines. It takes what athletes call “being in the zone.” You must summon your mojo and be willing to be accountable for outcomes produced, (or failed to be produced), by others. The key word here is “commitment.” So we ask the question – are you really committed to being a leader, or are you a leader by default because of your title?

Are You In Your Comfort Zone?

The term “comfort zone” has become a popular way to describe how we are feelingabout various activities we are taking part in – “that pushed me way out of my comfort zone,” or “that was not in my comfort zone,” are pretty common phrases these days.

When we talk about our “comfort zone” what we are talking about is our personal orbit, our range of personal activities. Each of us has a daily routine, a weekly routine and perhaps even a monthly or yearly routine. Generally speaking we are creatures of habit and we develop comfort zones we like, and of course, feel comfortable in.

Often, even when we do try to venture out of it, we are quickly pulled back in to it. There is a dynamic called “homeostasis” which is critical to this. Homeostasis has both psychological and physical implications and what it’s pointing to is the fundamental and biological drive for equilibrium and stability in a system, (and yes, we are including human beings as systems). In effect, homeostasis helps create and regulate our “comfort zones.” This is a very important phenomenon to understand. It works for us in critical ways. For example, it helps keep our body temperatures stable. As we know, we all have a set-point for body temperature that is on average 98.6 degrees. The homeostasis in our bodies helps insure that when our temperature fluctuates, it comes back to this comfortable set point. The downside is that when we challenge ourselves psychologically and emotionally in various ways, there can be a “homeostatic back lash,” and a strong pull to go back to our existing comfort zone until we have solidly established a new set point.

So our comfort zone is somewhat like a thermostat. Unconsciously it has been set at a particular point and when we change it, it takes some time to “heat up or cool down” to the new set point.

An amazing example of this is the research that has been done on lottery winners. It has been found that generally, if someone was poor before winning the lottery, they will end up poor again. If they were middle class, they would ultimately end up middle class again and so on. This is a powerful example of what happens when our set points or comfort zones are radically and unexpectedly challenged and how powerful homeostasis can be.

As we discuss comfort zones, set points, etc. we want to be clear that this is not a piece about people who plod along and move slowly or people who seem risk averse. If you are a fast-paced, “go go go” type of person that is your comfort zone. What if you had to slow down, be more reflective, bring your energy “down and in” instead of being an “up and out” kind of person? What if you had to take on a meditation practice? Would you still be in your comfort zone? What if you are a thrill seeker and look for ways to “push the envelope” all the time? What would happen if you lived a more mundane existence and had to experience the ordinary? Would you still be in your comfort zone?

The thing is, if you want new outcomes, bigger results and to achieve your vision are you ready to expand your comfort zone? Are you ready to alter your personal orbit? Are you fortified and prepared for the inevitable backlash that may come from inside you, but also from those around you who may feel threatened or unnerved by change? If you are part of their system, their orbit, their comfort zone, and you change, what happens to their comfort zone? If you aren’t ready to expand your orbit, how can you expect your colleagues, team, or employees to do it?

2013 - Dream Big!

To move into a New Year powerfully and to create the results you want there are some key steps to take. The first is creating an “elegant ending” to the past. Last week we posted about “letting go of 2012,” and included a free download of a worksheet to help you do it. Now it’s time to move on to envisioning and documenting your 2013 “Yonder Star(s)” and creating plans for fulfillment.(Note: The first part of this post talks about how to effectively map out your personal goals. If you want to move straight into planning for your business check out the last paragraph of this post. We’ve got a Hot Wired Strategic Plan template for you as a free download.) One way to help yourself succeed is to make your resolutions “public” to others. To put more wind in your sails, promise others that you will deliver! You can ask someone you trust to be a “committed listener.” This involves a commitment from them to listen to you as you talk about the status of your plans, your struggles and your successes. It does not involve them giving advice or telling you what to do next, (unless you make a specific request for it). Another way to succeed is to hire a coach. Someone who is trained to support people in achieving their dreams and plans.

If you are a bit more experienced at this process, take a step up in rigor and create a set of goals for the different areas of your life. Categories you might include are: 1) Career/Financial 2) Well-Being or Health 3) Relationships 4) Spiritual 5) Personal 6) Wild Card How bold are you willing to be setting your goals? If you are completely certain you can make the goals are you stretching yourself enough? Focus on designing the most catalytic, highly leveraged action steps you can. By “catalytic” we mean that your actions produce the intended results without your being used up in the process. By “highly leveraged,” we mean you produce very big results with minimal resources.

If you’ve been successful at this level of work and/or are ready to take on your first effort at a Strategic Plan for your company or affiliation, we suggest using what we call our “2130 Partners Hot Wired Strategic Plan.” We call it Hot Wired because it covers many of the levels and topics of an elaborate plan and yet you can produce a decent draft in a couple of hours. The next pass can then be developed to whatever level of detail you wish. The key, however, is to get the initial draft knocked out in as short a time as you can so that you shift your paradigm about goals and actions as you develop the more detailed plans. You can download the worksheet for our 2130 Partners Hot Wired plan by clicking here.

Ready for 2013? First You Will Need to Let Go of 2012

It’s the time of year when many of us conduct annual rituals that may include everything from strategic planning sessions for business to making New Year’s resolutions or setting Bold Goals for 2012 and beyond. We’ve found any such process to be much harder to do when we haven’t completed and let go of the past.  It’s very difficult, (impossible?), to really move forward when we are carting the past along with us. The process of letting go can include changing your attitude and perceptions about what the economy did to you, to digging very deep and letting go of some of the childhood stuff that shapes your life. On the fun end of the spectrum, we have for many years put flip chart paper all over our walls when we have a New Year’s Eve party with a simple question on each, such as “What did I start and not complete?” or “What did I accomplish that I haven’t been acknowledged for?” or “What did I screw up that I didn’t get caught for?”  Guests write on the charts all evening with colored markers and sometimes get even more creative with a touch of artistic display as well.  On a number of occasions we have taken them all down at midnight and symbolically burned them.

On a business note, we do a similar exercise with our executive clients where we pass out a page with questions for them to fill out that explores accomplishments and failures in their businesses, practice of leadership, and lives. (We have a free download of this exercise sheet at the bottom of this blog post.)  One of my favorites is “What must I communicate to be complete with 2012 and to whom?”

A few of the highlights from these types of executive discussions include discoveries of attachments participants did not realize were holding them back, people around them who they had failed to acknowledge, and places where they were not leading by example.

We also know that for many folks the holidays can include a lot of upset, ranging form anxiety around gift giving and office party attendance to remembrances of lost loved ones or unhappy childhood experiences related to the holidays.  The latter is fertile ground for completion work.

Some of the comments we get about these exercises can be summed up as, “transition/transformation is a lot of work!”  If you are intending to be powerful in 2013, have big goals, and produce great results, we highly recommend you spend the next couple of weeks completing and letting go of 2012, (and earlier if you need to), in order to create fertile ground for your 2013 vision to come alive.

If you would like to try our exercise format we have included it here as a free download.

Wishing you a happy ending to your 2012 and a fabulous 2013!

Collaboration: Hip, Hop, or Hype?

Note: Dwight is currently out on leave so we are running some “best of” blog posts from his writing for the Vistage Executive Street blog that you may not have seen before. Enjoy!

Collaboration is seemingly the current trendy word among consultants, authors, HR executives, and leaders who are attempting to “stay hip.” Is it really a valuable way of interacting? Will it last? And what’s the big deal?  Why not just cooperate, the way individuals in most functional groups have been doing for a long time?  Is there any real difference anyway?

Rather than restate definitions here, refer to Mike Cook’s blog, The Heart of Engagement, which recently (February 13th) dove into the distinction between collaboration and cooperation – “Collaborate; that Looks Like it Might Hurt? Can’t I Just Cooperate?”  and David Wedaman’s blog, Theatrical Smoke, entitled “Liaisons, Collaboration, Cooperation, and Soup,” both of which do an excellent job with the subject.

According to Wedaman, “…collaboration comes at a cost: being highly unstable, politically unwise, and anxiety-provoking; we should not jump into it without knowing the costs.” To elaborate, he throws out phrases like: “politically vulnerable…freaks people out…occasionally hard to explain…[and] anxiety provoking.” If that doesn’t give you pause, what will?

In my post, “Discover Your Own Resourcefulness,” I addressed making big commitments and the immediate threats that arise in our minds. One of the antidotes is to discover or round-up missing members and surrender to a team. The other is to identify and execute missing strategies. After reading Wedaman, I’m guessing most of us would opt for the strategies piece and forget the whole team thing…

It turns out that collaboration, (and learning), requires a lot of surrender and that makes it “dangerous.” The risks, in this case, are largely to our own identities, political positions, ability to control outcomes, long held beliefs, and on and on… When we talk about surrender, we are not saying “give up” or “give in.” We are talking about being willing to jump in and be in an open, curious state. To do this requires that the rewards far outweigh the perceived costs, or the current fear level makes going forward look like a much better choice. Such situations occur when we take on really big goals or when the rate of change around us makes our world seem like standing at the edge of the ocean as the waves quickly erode the sand from under our feet.

To me, this is where the “hop” comes in that will have collaboration not only persist but become the more normal working paradigm. Webster’s informal definition of “hop” is  the ability to “pass quickly from one place to another.” If we consider place as a state of mind, especially collective mind, it begins to shed some light on the issue.

In David Houle’s book, “The Shift Age,” he asserts that humanity will experience all of the change in the next 10 to 100 years that it did in the last 1,000 years. We live in an environment of change and many individuals are already experiencing “innovative exhaustion.”

The ability to connect with others and “hop” will facilitate collective learning, allow us to draw on our shared capacities, and move quickly from paradigm to paradigm as we fulfill big goals, create new ones, and keep moving into strange new and exciting worlds.

Leadership: Underneath it All

Note: Dwight is currently out on leave so we are running some “best of” blog posts from his writing for the Vistage Executive Street blog that you may not have seen before. Enjoy!

There are perhaps infinite facets, qualities, layers and levels to successful leadership. While certainly a complex and rich topic, I am going to dive underneath most of these complexities to what is, in a sense, a “leadership bottom line.” I am talking about an “underneath it all,” that, if not addressed, causes a lot of problems. Most importantly, it can derail important strategic and cultural efforts, raise stress levels, and create a myriad of upsets in a team or organization.

This bottom line is essentially universal. It is the fear of not being good enough. At some level, this is not a fear exclusive to leaders, it is a human fear. Writer Ernest Holmes calls it, “the universal doubt.” I think doubt is not quite strong enough a word and that really, fear is more accurate.

Author John Eldredge in “Wild At Heart,” talks about your original wound. Brene Brown, in her powerful TED talks on vulnerability, calls it your shame. I have found it to be that very first hugely negative declaration I made about myself as I began creating my identity, my strategy to survive childhood. The important thing to know about these perspectives is how powerfully this dynamic shapes our thoughts, words and deeds in the present and how strongly your survival brain holds on to them and struggles to be sure no one ever finds out about it!

This fear may have slightly different wording in different individual’s minds; “I’m not good enough… I’m not worthy…I’m stupid…I am a fraud, etc.” You have your own personal and very specific version. The key is to know that your fear is powerful and will cause you to create elaborate personality adaptations to cover it up.

Some people become aggressive, some people become perfectionists, some people become fearful of making decisions. All of these approaches are survival strategies unconsciously driven by, “I’m not good enough and I must not be found out!” All are some version of fight, flight, or freeze.

If you are truly committed to developing powerful, effective, collaborative leadership capacities, then get to work on this deep seated issue! Begin to notice your own very personal version. Consider how it is a driver in your behavior and actions and notice the consequences for the other people in your life.

This may be a very uncomfortable inquiry that could require support from a coach, counselor, spiritual director or other professional. The important thing to remember is that this is a universal issue. It’s not unique to you, or even a small group of people. Knowing that it’s truly human to have this fear affords a sense of compassion for both yourself and others.

When you are really ready to experience powerful, effective, and sustainable leadership, tackle this issue head-on for yourself. It will forward your leadership and your life.

Want to Think Creatively? Go Soak Your Head!

Note: Dwight is currently out on leave so we are running some “best of” blog posts from his writing for the Vistage Executive Street blog that you may not have seen before. Enjoy!

“Creativity is the residue of time wasted”- Albert Einstein

This morning I found myself preparing to head into a very important strategic meeting and deeply engaged in a pattern of thought that made both of my partners wrong. Fortunately I flashed on one of my mom’s folksy sayings which she invoked when someone was being ornery, “oh, go soak your head!“ So I did. I jumped into a nice relaxing shower and came out renewed and ready for a conversation about possibilities.

With that quick bit of “brainwashing,” I reflected on Daniel Pink’s recent “Fridays With Vistage” webinar where he talked about the crucial importance of free or uncommitted time for people in the workplace to unleash creativity and innovation.

He further pointed out the foolishness of continuing our traditional thinking about management which, in his view, is a technology invented in the 1850′s that was created to produce compliance, not creativity. (I have also blogged about this topic here.)

What is being called for now, according to many thought leaders, is imagination, innovation, and the agility to both create and respond to rapid change. This view is confirmed in a major research study, “The Global Leadership Forecast 2011” by DDI. Unfortunately, this study also says 40% of leaders report they are unprepared to deal with these trends.

Jonah Lehrer’s new book, “Imagine: How Creativity Works,” confirms that great thinking often occurs when we seem to be wasting time. (The shower I took this morning was an intervention along the lines he recommends.)

In a review of “Imagine” in The Economist, they say, “Drawing from a wide array of scientific and sociological research—and everything from the poetry of W.H. Auden to the films of Pixar—he makes a convincing case that innovation cannot only be studied and measured, but also nurtured and encouraged.”

As an example, the article also goes on to explain policies the 3M company has put into place to insure employees take risks and innovate.

So the point is that as leaders, this is critical information, especially in light of the Global Leadership Forecast report:

• Creativity can be encouraged and fostered, you don’t need to have a staff of innate creative geniuses.
• Having the right environment for creativity is key – and it’s not a paradigm of “do, do, do, go, go, go!” that most of us think it is. (See the 3M example in The Economist article link.)

Leaders must insist on cultures that make creativity and innovation priorities. So how can you powerfully open up your thinking and that of the people around you? To gain success in today’s business world you may need to “waste some time” in order to figure it out.

Being a Thick-Skinned Leader

Note: Dwight is currently out on leave so we are running some “best of” blog posts from his writing for the Vistage Executive Street blog that you may not have seen before. Enjoy! I was fascinated by an article I read by Lucy Kellaway in the Financial Times on 6/17/12 called, “The Thin Line Between Thick Skin and Complacency.” She points out in her article that in business, we are often encouraged to become almost impervious to outside criticism. In fact, she claims that “every executive coach tells every aspiring person who has to deal with criticism the same thing: don’t take it personally.” In other words,develop a thick skin.

Given that prevailing reality, it is no wonder the public has developed such a low opinion of CEOs and worse that recently so many top executives seem to have walked right into disasters of their own making during public relations emergencies like the BP oil spill or the financial debacle on Wall Street. These leaders lost touch and connection with their employees, customers, and the public at large as they developed their thick skins and ability to repel criticism. The vibe from these leaders is “a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements” – literally the dictionary definition of complacency.

According to Kellaway, “instead of telling successful people to grow thicker skins – which time will help them grow anyway – we should be urging them to look after their skin and keep it as thin as it always was.”

Kellaway further argues that “the ideal is to have a skin as thin as an earthworm’s but the constitution of an ox. And also, perhaps, a clotting mechanism to ensure a scab forms on wounds and the victim does not bleed to death.”

Graphic as her quote is, it does point to a much more productive pathway for you if you are committed to being a highly effective leader who has the ability to develop and lead high performing teams. Be open to paying attention to the biting comments. They will energize you out of complacency and challenge you to do better.

While small to mid-sized company executives may not have developed the thick skin towards public criticism in the media in the same way that very large company leaders have, they may still have this “thick skin response” when it comes to feedback from their teams, vendors or clients. The important piece is not what size company you lead or whether criticism is coming from internal or external sources. The important thing is to consider not being armored and impervious, but instead to be more permeable and allowing feedback to actually have an impact on you.

Another way of saying this is that a background or foundation of mutual trust, respect, and safety is fundamental for productive dialogue and for strong, collaborative working relationships. To be trusted, others must know that you are being as authentic and transparent as possible and that you actually care about their well being.

So the bottom line is, be open to feedback, especially when you don’t like the news. You may not need to take it all to heart, but if you consider it with curiosity, you may find areas of complacency in your leadership that need a little jump start. Criticism can provide that spark if you allow it in.